Feels Like Life is Conspiring Against You?

Have you ever experienced this?
You finally make the decision that you are going to stop doing things out of obligation.
You feel good about this decision, you feel like hell yeah, it’s time.
Over the next week, it seems like everyone on earth needs something from you. Practically every time you turn around, someone is asking you to do something.
You say no, but after so many requests (and sob stories) you begin to feel the pressure and cave in.
You make the choice to cut out sugar for 2 weeks.
Suddenly, everyone is bringing donuts to the office, birthday celebrations and potlucks with towers of delectable sugary treats and you find your willpower melting…quickly.
At some point, a girl begins to wonder….Is the Universe conspiring against me??!!
The short answer: No, I promise, it’s not.
The longer answer: You are experiencing what I call the turkey-pan phenomena.
Go ahead and laugh, I thought it was crazy when I first discovered it, but it makes so much sense and things suddenly seem less like the Universe is attacking you with what you don’t want. It helps you to stay focused on what you do want.
Here’s how it works:
You know after you cook a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner and the pan is full of stuck-on bits of crustiness and grease. So you add some soap and water and begin to scrub.
The dishwater that was once clean is now filled with crusties and grease and looks icky, but as you keep scrubbing and rinsing, the water and the pan get clearer and clearer, until no more icky is left.
That is exactly what happens when we start to make a change.
The decision is the point where we add soap and water to our lives. As we stick with that decision, everything that is not in alignment with it will come up…all our darkness, grease, crusties and ick.
It can feel like life is a bit dirtier and icky than before.
It is simply the Universe showing you what is ready to be cleared, released and healed in order for you to be in alignment with what you say you want.
It is a reflection. A tool. A gift.
When we stick with it and we keep moving forward in spite of how things look on the outside, pretty soon, things begin to run clear again. Our pan and water is clean and life is better than before.
Keep going forward, don’t let the dirty water scare you. Keep scrubbing.
Your instincts led you here, trust your instincts now and know that you are on the correct path.

*This is actually one of the lessons I share in the Serenity: Healing YOU While Loving an Alcoholic group.

Meeting Jesus – The Healer in You

photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/pinkmoose/

Hey  ,

I shared in my last post how I began connecting with Jesus (apprehensively) and the questions I asked him around sin, the resurrection and why he was showing up for me at this time.

It created a great deal of response and based on the emails I received it hit home for many of you.

If you missed it, you can read it here.

Now, I would like to take you deeper into our conversation where we talk about ‘Jesus – the healer’, the Christ Consciousness within each of us and what that has to do with your personal evolution.

*I would like to remind you that this is a personal account and am sharing as a way to help others understand what I have come to understand. I am sharing from the space of love, so if it doesn’t feel right to you, that is okay…simply move on.*


Me: ‘Now that I understand sin and the intention behind the resurrection, help me understand something else.

If I (all of us) are like you, then what about the healing you did- you know, the spontaneous healing that is plastered all throughout the Bible. I can’t do that.
If I work with you this year and learn to embrace my inner Christ Consciousness, does that mean I am going to be able to start randomly healing people?’

Jesus: ‘I didn’t heal them.’

Me (confused): ‘WHAT?!

What about the leper and the servant of that follower and that blind man and the guy who couldn’t walk and all the accounts of people who were healed simply by touching your clothes?!

I have heard these stories read directly from the Bible and have heard them recounted over and over throughout my life. It is always told…and Jesus said, Go and be healed or May you be healed…or something like that.
Are you telling me none of them are true?’

Jesus: (being all irritatingly calm and patient)

‘I didn’t say that. Those people were healed, but I didn’t heal them.’

Me: Long silent pause, then, ‘I don’t understand.’

Jesus: ‘Get your Bible and I will show you.’

So I grab my bible and sit down.

Jesus: ‘Open it to a story of where it talks about one of those healings.’

To be honest, I don’t know where in the Bible the stories are; I was never good at remembering those things.

So, I did what I always do when I ask for a message from a book. I close my eyes and open it. Then scan the page until something jumps out at me.

EVERY time I opened the Bible during this conversation with Jesus it opened to one of the stories sharing a healing miracle. EVERY. TIME.

Side note: I did not write down the scripture locations as I never intended to write about this, so you will have to look these stories up on your own if you desire.

…back to our conversation…

I opened the book to the first story and read it.

Me: Okay, I have read the story, but I don’t see what you are talking about. It says right here: ‘…and Jesus said, Go and be healed.”

Jesus: That is only part of the sentence….keep reading.

Me: Okay.  ‘…and Jesus said, Go and be healed …..to the level of your belief.’ 

My eyes widened as I started to get what he was saying……

Jesus: Yes. That is it.

I did not heal them. I simply held the connection so that they could choose to receive the healing for themselves. Their belief was a critical component.
If they did not believe, they were not healed.

But since seeing is believing for many, when they saw others heal, they believed they could too.

I am no different, nor more powerful than any one of you. Yet, I had a clear understanding and trust in the co-creative nature of the Universe. I clearly understood that I was a channel for God to work through. I learned to release any resistance.

Me: If this is true, then why are you seen as ‘special’ and ‘chosen’? Why didn’t people simply start healing themselves then and now?


First, my intention was not to show how great I was, but to help others see what was possible; in an attempt to help them discover their own greatness.

I was demonstrating the power within, yet because people were used to being controlled and felt powerless,  they could not recognize their own power within and misunderstood my message. I was then glorified as though I was somehow different from them.

Second: Other people have done it and are doing it today. The planet is healing at a rapid rate from the mass fear that has run rampant for so long.

There are healers of all types – doctors, shamans, energy workers, therapists that are all doing exactly what I did. Holding the space and connection for you to receive the level of healing you choose to allow.



Jesus said, be like me.

As a means of saying see how I am being. See my connection to God, see how I show up. See what energy I am giving.  Now go do that.

Instead…we began to make him special. Different somehow from us.

Which is not true and was never the point.

Yet we still chose to see him as special because we did not yet have faith in our own connection and divinity, nor see our own worth.

This is the part of his teaching that is so widely misunderstood.

That is what many of us are clearing in this lifetime. It is why so many struggle with accepting our power and have the ‘not enough’ syndrome. As we clear these in this lifetime, we will no longer have to work through these issues.

His greatest desire for you at this time is for you to learn to cultivate, trust and know your own Divine connection.

To feel the power that surges through you as a natural response to your own creative and healing energies.

You are powerful. Just as powerful as Jesus and it is time to own it.

Such a deep message and I encourage you to begin to cultivate your connection starting now and here is a simple way to begin.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

Call on Jesus to help you with forming this Divine connection.

Put your hand on your heart and just focus on the steady beat.

Take another deep breath saying out loud or in your mind:

I breathe in trust.

I breathe out peace.
Notice what sensations occur.

Ask one question.

Let the thought that immediately pops into your head be the answer.

Sending you big love,


Serenity: Cultivating Peace in Times of Struggle Within Yourself and the World



Serenity: Cultivating Peace in Times of Struggle Within Yourself and the World

Within our own daily struggles, times of trauma and with the world in turmoil this most often puts us in a constant state of fear.
Fear drives us to react in impulsive and often unhealthy ways.

What will stop this? You. Choosing consciously.

Conscious choice allows us to respond to any situation with love.

It helps us:
see the meaning behind the meaning less
-feel the power within the powerless
-make sense of the senseless
-respond instead of react
-embrace instead of separate
No matter what insanity you are experiencing in your life, Serenity is possible.

Join me on this live cal and I can show you how. Simply, complete the form below and I will send you the access info.

Jesus, Orlando and Your Spark





It has been a week of heavy energy, yes?

It really has me thinking about why these things are happening now and for what purpose and with the fact that I have been talking to Jesus and I am on the awakening Christ Consciousness within bandwagon, I thought I would share some insights.

So, I was getting ready for work the day after the Orlando shooting and I was feeling…off. Something was going on with me that felt bad. I had to explore what I was thinking because negative emotion is a sign that what you are thinking/underlying beliefs aren’t in alignment with what your higher self knows to be true.


While getting dressed I began asking myself some questions, like….’What are you feeling right now?’ ‘Are these feelings yours or someone else’s?’ (as an empath, it is easy for me to take on others emotions or society’s emotions as my own if I am not aware),
‘What do you want?’

To my surprise I realized, I was feeling off because I was telling myself I should be deeply saddened for the victims of that tragedy, but I wasn’t. My heart went out to the families, friends and loved ones who are experiencing the intense loss, but I was not sad for the victims.
Yet, because that was what the ‘normal’ response to situations like this…my mind kept telling me ‘I should’ be more upset. (Saying I should, is always a key to see that something is out of alignment with your thinking and your truth.)

This kinda shocked me!

Then I asked myself ‘why wasn’t I sad for the victims?’

Because it goes against my true knowing that there are no victims. We all choose our purpose, entrance and exit of each lifetime we live. We come here knowing the why for it, knowing the meaning of it, knowing how it will fulfill the expansion of our soul and those souls that we touch.
We choose this, so we cannot be victims of it.

*Want to understand this perspective more? Read The Little Soul and The Sun by Neale Donald Walsch


I then began wondering what Jesus’s response would be in this and how he would see it.

So I asked him.

He led me to a passage in the bible that talks about him weeping with the mourners of Leviticus, he then points out that he wept, not for the dead (because he knew there is no death and his friend was eternal) but he wept as he felt the pain of the family.
He wept because he took that pain on as his own.

(Holy crap. Jesus was an empath!)

He also did not fear death (because it doesn’t exist) so he did not carry fear for the dead.

Okay, that makes sense AND feels right in my heart.

As I was driving to work, I asked him, ‘What is the purpose within this and what are we to individually take from it to expand ourselves and the global consciousness?’

I will let him share his response:

This experience, as all tragic experiences, is meant to connect you back to your hearts and love.
We are in the midst of a breaking down of old ways and beliefs that as a society you have been carrying. You are collectively transforming the world as a new way of being emerges.
Do not fear this.
As with all transformation there must be an ending and letting go, so that there may be space to create the new.

Just as you have to tear down an old house and clear away the debris before you can build a new one, it is the same with beliefs and old ways of being.

Let yourself feel what comes up for you, but it will do no good to hold those emotions or suppress them.

When you think of the ‘victims’ or the shooter, do not focus on the death, but focus on their life. See their light in this.
(Yes, I include the shooter, because he had an important role. He was the friction that caused the spark.)

They came here to be a spark. To ignite the light within you. To build the flames within your heart, so that you may reconnect to yourselves in a deeper way. That you may then fan the flames and reclaim your own fire to reunite with love.

The question now is, what will you do with this fire?

Will you use it to burn others? Will you let it die out after the TVs have stopped reporting? Will you let the embers calm, but continue burning a deep rage within you?
Will you let the fire transform you?

Will you allow it to release you from the chains of fear that you have been carrying so that you may shine brighter than you ever have before?’

Now there is a question that should be plastered on the news media headlines.

What will you do with the fire that this tragedy has sparked within?


How did this resonate with you? Was it a hell yes, or a hell no?  Share in the comments below!


Big love,


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