I lost it last week.
I was at my job and things were headed downhill fast.
I am very self-driven and somewhat of a control freak; throw in a bit of perfectionism which is of course driven by the ‘never good enough’ mantra that tends to run through my head.
And you have the perfect setting for a breakdown.
“The breakdown happens just before the breakthrough.”
My coping mechanism to deal with stress is to escape.
I have become a master of meditation in any situation and daydreaming, while still looking present, is a skill I have perfected.
I usually just get through the struggle and reflect on the meaning later, however this month I have committed to staying present ~ so I forced myself.
I stayed engaged and when I started to drift off, I would bring myself back.
It was hard. It was heavy. It sucked.
About halfway through this thoroughly crappy week I had my aha moment.
This moment usually doesn’t occur until I have survived whatever came my way and am reflecting on the meaning, lesson and how I could handle it differently (better) next time.
I was sitting there, talking with a colleague about how this shit needs to stop and it hit me, it was almost like I was seeing the situation from outside myself.
I immediately knew I created this situation.
I created it to force me to step into my role as a leader and take the reins in a way I never have before.
I saw the last year of my life in bursts of moments that I had been given the chance and I backed away.
I chose to stay small.
It is my time to play big and since I wouldn’t bite with the small bait, I (and the Universe) created a situation that I would be forced to handle and change my approach to my work, to my business, to my marriage, to my life.
And in that moment, when I got it was all an illusion and it was like a play and I had the starring role, I laughed.
My colleague looked at me like I was crazy, but I couldn’t stop….I couldn’t explain it either!
So we went back to our meetings and while the rest of the week was long hours and intense conversation, I continually found myself holding back a smile.
I had a secret.
My secret of seeing the purpose of the moment, while still in the moment.
Here’s to your secret,
Wanna know more about what this challenge is and why I am babbling on about it?
Go here: my-weight-my-worth-my-money
It is part of my life’s purpose to help every woman reconnect with themselves and live a confident , prosperous life where you have the money, time and freedom to explore and create the life of your dreams.
It all starts with believing in you.” Jenean Zunk
I am a coach who works with professional women who want a healthier lifestyle, one that fits their busy schedule and gets results like maintaining a healthy weight, creating natural energy and disease proofing their bodies. My 7 steps natural health program teaches them how to take control their health, to know, love and transform their body.
Connect with me at http://www.michellegreenman.com
* Thanks to Brian Fuller for the photo!